the couch wizard of kingdom comfort.

aron is sometimes a butthead but he makes up for it with frequent, tangible gifts that temporarily make me forget that i once considered lighting his hair on fire because he pissed me off so badly. when he picked me up in barrie after spending the week at my parents, he presented me with what might be the most epic gift i have received since i was given the gift of LIFE from my mother and father.

 

BEHOLD! TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNUGGIE!

that is snuggie #2 for me,  upgrading me to  COUCH WIZARD in my own kingdom of comfort. you can feel free to come over and use my beige snuggie, but keep your greasy little mitts off of my ninja turtle snuggie or else i’ll cut down your entire family tree! *makes a menacing face*

the cats ass.

 

ps- george has developed a taste for cat poop from the litter box. it’s the grossest thing ever and his breath smells like the cats ass. and no, this isn’t as amazing as the phrase may lead you to believe. at all.

crazy is as crazy does.

Definitions of crazy on the Web:

• brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; “a man who had gone mad”
• foolish; totally unsound; “a crazy scheme”; “half-baked ideas”; “a screwball proposal without a prayer of working”
• possessed by inordinate excitement; “the crowd went crazy”; “was crazy to try his new bicycle”
• bizarre or fantastic; “had a crazy dream”; “wore a crazy hat”
• someone deranged and possibly dangerous
• intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; “crazy about cars and racing”; “he is potty about her”

i’ve been thinking a lot. ha, not strange for me and my perpetually-in- think brain. but, i’ve been thinking a lot about a topic which i might have literally no insight into because i might not be in a place to be able to conclude a damn thing-

am i, nicole armstrong, CRAZY?

now- you consider some textbook ‘crazy’ folk in their own little reality, collecting expired bus transfers or talking to someone(s) that nobody else can see and we automatically label them as nutty, off their rocker, loony… whatever whatever. however, reality is what it is to YOU, not what it is to the next person. everybody’s reality is different and shaped by their own experiences and their own opinions and their life thus far. i am sure that the person having the conversation with the telephone pole wouldn’t think it strange in the least if you asked them if they considered their behavior ‘normal’. it’s all just a matter of standard, really. we all live in our own separate realities and we all just coexist side by side, our worlds intertwining from time to time. that’s life, no more, no less.

so that brings me to wonder- am i crazy in the opinion of others?  now, i know i am not stereotypically batty and covered in dirt and mumbling nonsensically to myself, i am not looking for reassurance on this front. i am more concerned with whether or not the people i date think i am crazy. a fellow i enjoy the company of recently said to me- ‘you’re so crazy.’  i asked ‘oh… in a good way or a bad?’ to which he replied simply- ‘both.’ what the fuck do you say in reply to that?! ‘… thanks? awesome? you’re an asshole-i will show you crazy?’ no seriously. what the fuck?

i would like to think compared to a lot of females i know, i have most of my marbles in check. then again- i am constantly ‘single.’  in complete honesty, i know i am clingy. i can’t help it. it’s an unattractive quality, but we’ve all got a few, right? i have a tendency to be a bit of an angry person from time to time, and being lied to pisses me off. oh whats that you say? those things are NORMAL? oh, right.

perhaps part of my crazy paranoia stems from the fact that i am a master detective and i can tell when i am being lied to before the person ever even commits the act that they’re going to lie to me about. a woman has a crazy intuition and ladies, don’t EVER doubt what your heart is telling you because it’s rarely ever wrong despite what you’ll be led to believe. i’ve been called crazy several times because i knew that somebody wasn’t telling the truth but they weren’t ready to come clean yet, so I am the crazy one. however, that being said- i would rather be ‘crazy’ over over being a liar ANY day. amen to that.

i guess there MUST be something i am missing. clingy? check! over emotional? check! forgiving to a fault? triple check! but crazy? i don’t know… would my friends tell me i am crazy? my family? i find it kind of ironic that the only folks who have labeled me as batty have been the people in my life who i’ve dated.

i guess it doesn’t matter if i am mentally kosher or not… there has got to be someone out there who thinks my mental state of affairs are all in fine order, right? besides, can’t crazy be a quirky, cute thing a la marilyn monroe or angelina jolie pre brangelina? cause really, i’m quite comfy in my own little world, it’s just a matter of finding someone else who won’t mind taking up residence here with me.